One of the questions that we are frequently asked is, “Is it okay for me to date during my divorce?” Ideally, it’s best not to date during a divorce, but for many divorcing spouses, that is simply unrealistic. Sometimes, a spouse has been lonely for years and they embrace the idea of being single and talking to potential suitors. Some people cannot wait to meet new people and get back on the dating scene.
What Does Your Spouse Think?
You have to be cautious when dating during a divorce mainly because of your spouse and how he or she would react if they found out. Your spouse may not be over you yet and their emotions may be raw. If they hear you’re dating, they may get jealous and lash out at you, making the divorce proceedings very difficult. Having said that, if you decide to date, this is what we suggest:
- Do not post any pictures of you and your dates on social media. Doing so is disrespectful to your spouse and can infuriate him or her.
- If you have minor children, do not introduce your dates to them until after the divorce is final and after you are in a serious, committed relationship.
- Do not go on dates on your nights with the children. Only date when your children are with their other parent.
- If going on dates near your home makes you nervous because you’re afraid of running into people you know, you can socialize in groups with your date, or you can travel to another town for more privacy.
“Does the judge care if I date during my divorce?” Generally, New York judges are not concerned about who you date. However, a judge may have an issue if you spent marital assets on a paramour before the divorce action commenced, or if your romantic relationship is adversely affecting your children.