Can Treating Your Spouse Badly Hurt Your Divorce?

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. Often, people are at the lowest point in their lives during their divorce proceedings. If you’re getting a divorce, you were probably a positive, supportive husband or wife who stood by your spouse’s side for many years. Suddenly, your marriage has unraveled and you can’t think of anything nice to say about them. Is there any harm is venting and getting in a dig or two?

Speaking poorly about your husband or wife can have many damaging effects. It can lead to a litigated divorce, it can damage your family dynamic, add undue stress on all parties involved, increase legal fees, reduce the marital estate, and reduce your chances of achieving a satisfying divorce. Before unleashing hostile feelings to them in-person or on your social media feed, consider the possible benefits of taking the higher ground.

Advantages of an Amicable Divorce

Divorce is rarely easy. Even when you and your spouse are friends, it can still be very difficult for you to go through. When you resent your spouse and your stress levels are unchecked, everything is magnified and the negative effects can last years. As such, there are definite advantages to you both setting your differences aside and actively working toward a common goal: an amicable divorce.

Some of the benefits of an amicable divorce include:

  • Avoids litigation
  • Reduces legal fees
  • Settlement keeps the divorce private and away from public view
  • Less stress on all parties involved, especially the children
  • Encourages reaching a mutually-beneficial settlement faster
  • Encourages a healthy co-parenting relationship

So, how do you achieve an amicable divorce? It all begins with you. If you view your divorce as a business transaction and treat your spouse with respect, you’re halfway there. Of course, you will need the same behavior from your spouse for it to work.

If you’re respectful and courteous to your spouse, it should beget the same behavior from him or her. If your spouse tries to provoke you or engage in arguments, don’t allow it. Hostile behavior is unhealthy for you and your children, whereas civil behavior can help you both put the divorce behind you faster and encourage a healthier relationship moving forward.

If your spouse chooses to rant and rave, our advice is for you to keep your cool, remain calm, and stay positive. You may not be able to control your spouse’s actions, but if you can control yours, which means you’ll be in a much better place psychology and financially.