One of the questions that we are frequently asked is, “Is it okay
for me to date during my
divorce?” Ideally, it’s best not to date during a divorce, but for
many divorcing spouses, that is simply unrealistic. Sometimes, a spouse
has been lonely for years and they embrace the idea of being single and
talking to potential suitors. Some people cannot wait to meet new people
and get back on the dating scene.
What Does Your Spouse Think?
You have to be cautious when dating during a divorce mainly because of
your spouse and how he or she would react if they found out. Your spouse
may not be over you yet and their emotions may be raw. If they hear you’re
dating, they may get jealous and lash out at you, making the divorce proceedings
very difficult. Having said that, if you decide to date, this is what
- Do not post any pictures of you and your dates on social media. Doing so
is disrespectful to your spouse and can infuriate him or her.
- If you have minor children, do not introduce your dates to them until after
the divorce is final and after you are in a serious, committed relationship.
- Do not go on dates on your nights with the children. Only date when your
children are with their other parent.
- If going on dates near your home makes you nervous because you’re
afraid of running into people you know, you can socialize in groups with
your date, or you can travel to another town for more privacy.
“Does the judge care if I date during my divorce?” Generally,
New York judges are not concerned about who you date. However, a judge
may have an issue if you spent marital assets on a paramour before the
divorce action commenced, or if your romantic relationship is adversely
affecting your children.